Invisible Illnesses.....

Nothing more need be said! Invisible illness. That IS rheumatoid arthritis. No one can see it, no one can feel it. Only the victim of this horrible illness knows that it exists. Until a person develops deformities in their joints, it is a subjective illness, unseen, unnoticeable to people who may see an RA victim park in a handicap parking spot, or get in someone's way while they're jogging, or take too long in line at a store. I personally have been bumped, pushed, knocked out of the way, and I have been given nasty looks for parking in a handicap spot. I look normal - maybe old to some, but pretty much normal. My insides, though, tell a different story. I hurt, I ache, I'm stiff, I'm sore........but still, I look normal to strangers. I was let go from my job with a message on my answering machine. I had had surgery to repair an elbow. I had a torn tendon most likely caused by excessive computer use on my job as a medical transcriptionist. As a result, I missed several weeks of work after my surgery. When I returned to my job, I wasn't fast enough. I was also given all new work types which slowed me down even further. Finally, I was let go. I was a burden to the department. My biggest mistake was telling them that I had rheumatoid arthritis. This is a permanent condition and they knew it. I tried to resign, but I was terminated before this could happen. Cruel? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely not. I am now on Social Security disability. I am pretty much unemployable because I would have to tell an employer what I have. That in itself would put me at the bottom of the list. So, I struggle. In this economy, it's not easy. I have difficulty paying my co-pays for the many physicians I have to visit. I am now having eye difficulties because of inflammation. I see perfectly fine. I just have red, dry eyes. They burn at night. I use a very expensive medication to treat them. All of this without a job. So, invisible illness is not so invisible after all. I hope to hear from others who suffer from conditions that make them unemployable or cause them problems on the job. I truly believe that people with invisible conditions can work just as well as anyone else. We can be very productive, and I hope the word gets out that we exist and that we matter. I'm almost to retirement age, but there are many many young people who have just begun their careers and they've developed an invisible condition.



My next blog will contain some web sites regarding invisible illnesses and groups who are helping to get the word out. Everyone is worth something!

Oh My Aching Bones, Part I

In July, 1985, I had just started a new job working in the laboratory at a local hospital. It was an exciting job, something I truly enjoyed. I was a medical transcriptionist for two pathologists. I loved my job. I eventually went to nursing school as a direct result of working in the laboratory. I wanted to be part of the medical team. One day, however, I woke up feeling a little "stiff". When I placed one foot on the floor, then the other, I felt excruciating pain that I had never before experienced. My feet felt like they were on fire. I could barely walk to the bathroom to get ready for work. Every inch of my body hurt. I had severe neck pain. Since my job was new, I decided not to call in sick and hoped that this pain would go away.When I arrived at work, my boss was concerned about the way I was walking. She decided to run a few blood tests on me. Everything came back negative and the mystery continued. I didn't have a cold or flu. I didn't have a fever, sore throat, or runny nose. I just hurt all over. It would be years before I found out what I had, and for years, I went from doctor to doctor trying to find out what was causing my pain. I was prescribed antidepressants, high-dose anti-inflammatory medications (ibuprofen, etc.), and I watched everything I ate. One doctor treated me like a drug addict looking for pain medicines. Unfortunately, the medical community labels people who go from doctor to doctor as drug addicts and hence, the term "drug-seeking" behavior was born. This just adds insult to injury. Doctors can certainly be cruel when they can't figure out what is wrong with a patient. Sometimes it's easier to label a patient than to research and find out what is really going on, especially if the patient appears to be otherwise healthy. And so, it would be another 16 years before I found out what was causing my pain, and an unlikely doctor would solve the puzzle.